Possible Topics for Satirical Essay

THE ONION
Bail Out the Economy or get a Face Lift: Paris Hilton’s Plan for our Economy

I. Paris Hilton, the epitome of our country’s success, beautiful, young and intelligent has a new proposal for President Obama in regards to how we can bail our country out of this recession. Hilton says: “Like why is everybody so concerned with the economy when we have presidents and senators who are like, old and wrinkly? Can you say Botox? I propose that we use these millions of dollars to change all of America, and how does change work from the outside in, let’s give these guys who represent our country makeovers!”
II. First we work from the top on down: Obama, Biden, Graham, etc.
III. The left over money should go to redecorating one of the most recognizable symbols of our country: the White House!
IV. For those of you who ask what about the economy? If we look good somebody’s bound to give us a couple billion, like….duh!

A MODERN MODEST PROPOSAL

Rid Society of the Homeless and Bring Companies back from over seas.

Why have we lost so many jobs in America? Companies have been sending their factories overseas because of the cheap labor and lack of workers rights laws. So why not use the useless of America: the homeless. By having the homeless work in American factories companies can bring their factories back to America and instead of having to pay them minimum wage or more, they can do the job for free and have somewhere to sleep. This rids our beautiful streets trash and allows America to have more exports and less imports.
I. List Problems that the Homeless Cause
II. List Ways to Go About the above.
III. Conclusion: By doing this we can inevitably kill two birds with one stone.